Chaos

Until this year, we have done, I believe, a better-than-average job of keeping Christ the focus of our celebrations. The kids have been more intent on learning about Jesus' birth and why it was so important than they have been on what gifts they will get for Christmas. We have always told them that Santa is not real - mommy and daddy pretend to be Santa after they go to sleep. We read stories about St. Nicholas so they learn why Santa is a neat tradition. We read the Christmas story in many different ways. This year has not been different in our parenting style in that regard. But tonight I noticed that something has shifted in the girls. Santa seems to be much more important that he has been in the past. They are intent on telling us what they want for Christmas. And tonight, everything came to blows when both girls insisted on being disrespectful to their daddy over and over. - They have lost their opportunity to decorate Christmas cookies with mommy.

When these things happen, it's easy for me to begin to feel sorry for myself. Oh, if only Miss O didn't have such a hard time with changes and transitions, if only Miss I didn't need so much attention, if only Ato T didn't need so much help with everything, if only ... you get the point.

As I took some time to talk with God tonight, He cleared my thoughts for me. All of the behavior issues we have had in the past few days are essentially my fault. We went to a play - The Night Before Christmas. Sure, it was fun, but did it focus on Christ's birth? No. Yes, we talked about it before and after the play, but the play itself definitely did not convey the meaning of Christmas to my children. We went to the Nutcracker - exact same problem. We had a Christmas party at our home ... with no one reading the Christmas story out loud. Then tonight we had a family movie night - The Polar Express. A great movie with some good hidden messages - but the messages are so hidden that the only thing my kids got out of the movie is that Christmas is magical because of Santa - not really the message I want my children's precious ears to hear. Do I believe any of these activities are wrong? No. However, when I look my the behavior of my children lately, it's clear that these activities have not contributed to their spiritual well-being. (They may have even taken away from it.)

Don't get me wrong - we have also done a number of activities that teach them about Jesus' birth and what that means to us. I believe that's why I thought all of these other activities would just be fun, harmless things to do. However, Miss O is not your typical child. Any change is schedule is extremely difficult for her. She has become so good at teaching herself to deal with her stress, that it's often easy for us to forget about it - until the behaviors creep up in full force. As I look back on our last 1 1/2 weeks, I know now that I should have been better at sheltering my kids from the business of this season. I pray I remember this lesson next year.

I can't fix the damage I've already done to my kids this year, but I can pray that the Lord leads them to the true meaning of the wonder of our Savior's birth, despite my inadequacies in the parenting I've been doing this season. That is my prayer tonight - and my resolve that the rest of the time we have during this Christmas season, I will be doing everything I can to help my children focus on the birth of our Savior, and the sacrifice He made for us on the cross.

Thank you for listening! Peace to you as we prepare for our Savior's birth!